Persian food in the Underrated Underworld

luminous green olives

luminous green olives

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I keep finding that so much of life is underrated.  I’ll give you some examples. An early night with a pile of reading material is definitely underrated by most.  A strong cup of fresh coffee is also completely underrated as it can quite magically turn my whole day around.  Receiving an email/letter from someone I wasn’t expecting to hear from.  Even a juicy piece of gossip.  A perfectly ripe (but not over ripe) banana.  Luminous green olives.  And to celebrate all that is underrated in this already overhyped world, I’ve decided to categorise these unrelated nuggets of goodness and I’m naming this new category my Underrated Underworld.  And in this newly created category, I’d like to add Persian food.  Just like that. Because, out of nowhere, the Iranian culinary delights have become my new, favourite cuisine in my Underrated Underworld.

Kateh in Maida Vale

Kateh in Maida Vale

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been to two such Persian restaurants.  The first is in Maida Vale and it’s called Kateh.  It had been described to me by a foodie-friend-posing-as-banker as:food good, service patchy”.  We ate there on a Saturday night and it was packed to the rafters.  The service is even a little slower than patchy but the food, I thought, was even better than good.  It was fantastic:  interesting, fresh, unusual, tasty and utterly delicious.

a delicious herby salad wrap at Hana, West Hampstead

a delicious herby salad wrap at Hana, West Hampstead

And so, when I was invited to review Hana (the more recently opened Persian in North West London), I leapt at the chance.  Accompanied by my Mill Hill girls, we dined like Iranian princesses on West End Lane.  The array of starters served to us included fresh, herby salads and a plate of mirza ghasemi which is a warm starter of crushed grilled aubergines with tomatoes and garlic.  Persian meatballs and char gilled tiger prawns also graced our over-ordered table. Then we went on to major in grilled meat and a classic slow-cooked chicken stew in thick walnut and pomegranate sauce.

smoky aubergine

smoky aubergine

Hana is a sweet plain-looking little neighbourhood restaurant (with very reasonable prices) which looks like you might be served very mediocre food.  But that’s just to deceive you.  Instead, the team there are creating some, albeit classic, stunning dishes of fresh Persian food which just goes to prove my point.  You see – in my Underrated Underworld – there is so much more to this middle eastern cuisine than healthy dips and grilled meats.

Kateh 5 Warwick Place?W9 020 72893393

Hana 351 West End Lane NW6 020 77941200

 

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Small Apartments: a film review by Him

(For 15 months, He has had to live in 2nd place.  To a blog.  And today He is allowed a voice. On the blog, at least.)

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Matt Lucas with the horn

Matt Lucas with the horn

It had been a Monday afternoon. In a jacuzzi. With a fat, bald, gay bloke. Probably not exactly an image I would choose to recall as your typical alpha male.  Anyway, those were my flashbacks as I sat down to watch a VIP screening of Matt Lucas’ film, Small Apartments – as I had been asked to deputise for the wife, the blogger, due to my passion for comedy. It had been more than a decade ago when this Shooting Star drummer and I found ourselves chilling together in the more relaxing confines of an upmarket North London gym, mostly populated by preening ladies-that-have-just-lunched, bored personal trainers and random punters who could somehow afford to while away the afternoon on a treadmill.

Lucas' bid to break the US

Lucas’ bid to break the US

In fact both Lucas and I were in between jobs. I had just escaped the clutches of an all-encompassing banking powerhouse, whilst Matt was about to springboard into mainstream success on both sides of the Atlantic with the legendary Little Britain series.

So, as I settled into my comfy seat at the Soho Screening Rooms, flashbacks of Matt Lucas’ pasty bulk were replicated on camera by the unnervingly simple and eccentric pants-only wearing, Switzerland-obsessed loner, Franklin Franklin.  And as he blew on his beloved giant alpine horn, I soon realised that ‘Small Apartments’ as a whole is a simply a direct reflection of this unusual character.

Despite a star-studded cast, this is a story of impoverished oddball characters worrying about a missing landlord but desperately lacks laughs.  Weaved together by former music director Jonas Akerlund, I very much doubt Messrs Altman, Soderbergh and Tarantino will be quaking in their Crocs quite yet!

Yet (and pardon the pun Mr Akerlund), whilst Lucas is no Madonna, the one ray of light is his literal and figurative stab at his first Hollywood lead. Therefore, one would be hard pressed to call it this a rich comedy, despite the occasional lighter moments delivered by Billy Crystal, James Caan, Jonny Knoxville and Dolph Lundgren.

the faces of Matt Lucas

the faces of Matt Lucas

In short, the cast looked like they were having slightly more fun than the audience. This was ironically summed up by Franklin’s brother just before the closing credits, “Happiness is a state of mind”. However, for me, that state of mind was quickly reached by the post-film glass of wine with my attractive new media darlings, the thought of attending this weekend’s top-of-the-table rugby clash at The Allianz Stadium and a decent night’s kip, before returning to the day job!

In Cinemas Friday 22nd March 2013

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competition: subscribing to escapism

does everyone's bedside table look like is?

does everyone’s bedside table look like is?

On a Friday, a plastic wrapped Spectator magazine flops through the letter box.  On a Saturday, Mini patiently waits for the postie to deliver her Beano.  And my copy of Vogue thuds in during the first week of each month.  I think it’s fair to say that we are a subscription-loving family.

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The world’s largest newsstand, Zinio contacted me recently asking if I’d like to try a digital subscription of any of their mags.  Choosing Vanity Fair, I tried my best to be as open-minded as possible.  After all, flicking through glossy magazines while tucked up in bed with a chamomile tea (whatever time of day or night), is my idea of HEAVEN.

an endless stock of magazines - my idea of heaven

an endless stock of magazines – my idea of heaven

A digital subscription takes some getting used to.  But there are some real benefits such no mucky print fingers on beautiful white linen and it can look like you’re working super hard when you’re simply stuck into a long, interesting article.

COMPETITION: Why don’t you give it a try too?  I am giving away 10 free digital magazine subscriptions to my 10 biggest magazine readers.  All you have to do is to enter this competition is sign up to my blog (top right of homepage),  follow me on Twitter and send me a tweet telling me which is your favourite glossy magazine.  The lucky winners will be selected randomly on Friday 5th April 2013. 

 

 

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Atlas Profilax adjustment: when I allow a man to drill my neck

the Atlas bone

the Atlas bone

And there was me thinking that an atlas was a collection of maps.

In my defense, I have never visited a chiropractor nor an osteopath so I wouldn’t have even considered it might be a bone.

But now, thinking about it, it makes sense.  The deity Atlas, in classical mythology, managed to support the earth and heavens on his buff shoulders.  And so the atlas bone – at the top of our spine – supports our heads and all the pretty thoughts that go in it.  Its name is not in vain.

Matthew Voigts with his Atlas bone

Matthew Voigts with his Atlas bone

A contact of mine is working with the Atlas Clinic to spread the word of Matthew Voigtsand his belief in the atlas treatment.  BIG claims are made about the realignment of this naughty bone, which he claims is incorrectly positioned in more than 90% of us, mere mortals.  I agreed to go along and, at least, chat to him about his work.

For any appointment on Harley Street (the Atlas Clinic is in London Medical Centre, 142-146 Harley St, W1), I am always keen to get there early.  I’m a little potty about the waiting rooms, you see.  A large selection of all those plush magazines you’d never buy:  Country Life, Good Housekeeping, Homes and Gardens… and an invitation to sit in this quiet, lavish yet lived in drawing room is just too exciting to miss out on.

spirit level measuring of my hips

spirit level measuring of my hips

Once upstairs with Matthew, he explains that he is one of only a handful of medical specialists around the world who believe the atlas bone is key to a vast range of cures.  I explain that I do get headaches (tension headaches) when overly busy.  And, while I am curious to know if how far my Atlas bone is ‘out’, I don’t fancy the side effects he is warning me about.  I might feel really tired with a headache that evening.  But, readers, you’ll remember I had a big night planned with the girls last Friday.  They would have been FURIOUS if I’d sacrificed this for a little bone moving.

misaligned me

misaligned me

First Matthew spirit leveled my hips (clearly not the medical term).  And then he asked me to lie on my front on the bed with my feet up in the air.  Just look at the pictures to see how misaligned my body is because of my over-swiveled bone: one of my legs is even longer than the other!

wonky length legs

wonky length legs

Glancing at the hand-held device (patented by the Swiss), I felt uneasy.  But I also felt curious – curious enough to allow him to try and reinstate my atlas bone.

The device is more like a massage gadget on steroids.  And the treatment is non-invasive and non-manipulative but he does need to apply some pressure on a neck as tense and knotted as mine.

The best bit is that the treatment is immediate.  Before I knew it my atlas bone was realigned and my legs, hips and the rest of my body were perfectly level.

level again at the Atlas Clinic

level again at the Atlas Clinic

I have waited 7 days to write this up just to see how felt. Initially I felt euphoric (apparently a common side-effect) and I had no headache afterwards nor felt the least bit tired as I sipped cocktails and danced that night.  I have increased mobility in my neck and certainly haven’t had a sniff of a headache… yet.

I have told my atlas story over Saturday night dinner with friends and at the school gates to a pretty much Marmite response.  Some are desperate for the clinic’s details to cure their insomnia, chronic fatigue, neck, back and headaches while there were also sniggers of doubt and then full on fury from Him who even called me irresponsible for ‘allowing a man to drill my neck’.

Matthew Voigt and his Atlas Clinic offer the Atlas Profilax adjustment for £225.  A further check-up appointment to assess the position of the atlas bone is essential and included in this price. 020 7160 0073

 

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